the Geirut closet

For better or for worse, I do not actively publicize the fact that I'm a convert. I usually prefer to blend in, which I can due to the coincidence of my biological appearance, besides the way I dress and conduct myself. Not all geirim are able to do so, and I suppose they accept that early on.

In most situations I am simply more comfortable being considered just like everyone else around me. Although I am not, of course, and neither are each of them. But you know what I mean: most persons around me always were Jewish. I do not wear an Herbalife-style badge inviting people to ask me about life as a shaygets or about the taste of pork, or about my seven-some year transformation from one identity to another.

When I meet new people and they start asking life questions or playing Jewish Geography, there's always a judgment call I have to make: should I admit it up front, or wait for it to come up naturally? In my yeshivah, for example, there are some persons I told the first day I met them because it seemed natural. There are others who, two years later, still don't know. And it's not because I'm not close to them (my ḥevruta of several months, for example — unless he's just a good actor). It just hasn't come up naturally yet.

I am not saying this is the proper course of action, and I could be quite wrong. After a while it does get awkward to come out of the closet. It's not that I am not proud of what I am, of what I did, and of who I used to be. Adaraba!

Two factors are motivating my behavior. One is the Christian tendency, among many at least, to mention the fact that they are believers in that faith, and to make sure everyone around them knows that from the outset, even if it has to be forced as a non-sequitur into the conversation.

The other factor is that people want to ask me why. And when that happens, I can talk for hours. The contrast of Judaism to Christianity, and every issue in between, is simply the most fascinating subject in life to me. And once I get started, there is no stopping. They usually keep asking more and more questions, that we get off on so many rabbit trails, and I start to feel sorry for them. Did they know what that innocent question about my past was going to lead to?

I guess that is what this blog is all about.